Loving, Learning and Letting Go

Mama Bear

on November 24, 2012

I heard somewhere that when you have children it’s like your heart running around outside of your body.  Isn’t that the truth.  I have never felt hurt, pride, joy, love, every emotion possible as strongly as I have felt it watching my daughter grow up.  It’s a strange phenomenon, but it’s so true.  It’s like the moment that little one comes screaming out of your body (yes, MC came screaming out!), you are a changed person.  No longer oblivious to how people treat each other, but now uncomfortably aware of every single word uttered, look given, and judgement made upon your child and your mothering (ouch!).  If you’re a mom, you know what I speak of.  It’s not always fun is it??

This was definitely the easiest time to take care of her, when she was sleeping!!

As MC grew older and began school, those little girl childhood dramas followed her (she didn’t play with me today, I didn’t get invited to so and so’s birthday party).  When those things happen Mama Bear starts to awaken inside me.  It starts slowly and  I would say anything to help make her hurt feelings go away, but inevitably she would hurt.  And that would KILL me.  It is so hard to see your child hurting.

Mama Bear works in the reverse effect also.  Like when your child is standing on the stage of her private school for receiving all A’s every single year!!  Then that chest puffs out  and Mama Bear softly growls and preens her fur.  Yes, that’s my kid.  Yes, I am a single mom.  Yes, I couldn’t be more proud!!

Moving on to high school in which Mary Cate decides to attend the public school after attending a private Christian school for all her years of schooling.  This was quite an adjustment for both of us.  She basically was starting over.  It ended up being a great 4 years, but with lots of Mama Bear moments.  We all know how mean high school girls can be.  I am lucky in that MC doesn’t keep many secrets from me.  I have had to learn that “I am not going to react when I hear something I should react to” face.  You know, you’re driving down the road, and she drops the bombshell, not usually about herself thankfully, and you have to act like it’s no big deal.  Because if you react??? Open lines of communication are gone..down the drain..,forever gone.  I was an expert at that…still am.

Prom picture. This night ended up being fun, but the events that led up to it?? Oh boy..

Now MC is in college, a sophomore living in an apartment with 3 other girls.  As a parent you mistakenly think that as your child moves onto college all the pissy girl stuff will go away.  Couldn’t be more wrong.  But now that she’s older and I am older, when she is mistreated my first instinct is to just go and kick some a**!  There have been times this year that a friend even wanted to drive down and help me!  Ha ha.  Now I would never act on this instinct (though at times I think my husband thinks I will).  But boy does Mama Bear growl, and she growls LOUD!

I do hope that all these trials that she goes through (and me too, because my heart does feel them all) will make her the person that can deal with just about anything in the adult world.  Children have to learn to handle the situations they are dealt.  I do hope that these experiences and the ones to come will make her that easy going gal when it comes time to have a real job.  Being an only child, sometimes it’s hard to get along with others because she has never had to share anything.  It’s life learning experiences, even if it is hard on my heart…

We’re at the beach this weekend, and will be watching the Gamecocks last game against Clemson!!!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: