heymommablog

Loving, Learning and Letting Go

On Being Mom….

on July 11, 2013

This blog post comes with a warning..you know like the surgeon general…I can’t promise I won’t offend, but what I need to say has been gnawing at me for awhile, and being transparent and honest feels right, right now.

I am proud of my kid, and by saying that, I am also humbly saying I am proud of myself.  There was a time in this parenting journey that I didn’t always make her a priority.  Being a single parent was tough and challenging and tiring and lonely and lots lots more. It took a big awakening in my life to realize this is it.  You have one chance to make her life good, make her feel so loved, and support her in all she does.  The rest is history.  In saying this, I need to talk about something that weighs heavy on me.  I see parents (mommas) with young children who aren’t taking this time to be with their children.  Oh, yes, they claim loud and proud all over social media that they are the best parents in the world, but they also brag about all their other activities and nights out with friends etc…  I am speaking from experience….the time goes too fast…they are gone way too fast, and they will either sink or swim when it’s time to go into the real world.  This is the time to set those foundations.  Your activities can wait.  I know it’s hard to believe, but I didn’t pick up any of my extra curricular activities until after Mary Cate was driving.  Once I realized that she had her own life and wasn’t so dependent on me, I was free to do some of my stuff.  And boy am I glad I did, because I would be one bored lady right now waiting around for Mary Cate to give me some attention!  : )

On the other hand, there are some great families I know that focus on their kids, and they are basically grown.  I see examples of families that put each other first, no matter what.  One of my favorite mommas is so fiercely protective of her own children.  She is even protective of mine, offering to go take care of business when mine wasn’t being treated fairly.  Love her.

So mommas, I am not saying don’t have something for you, because you HAVE to, BUT don’t make that priority over raising your children, and for God’s sake don’t post on FB about what a great parent you are, and then in the next breath talk about partying with your friends.  I think of YOLO, you only live once.  Well, you only have one chance to parent.

Didn’t I say before I am crazy proud of my girl.  She is working two jobs this summer in Columbia.  For the last two summers she has set a goal for how much money she wants to save.  I always tell her she’s crazy.  But damn if that girl doesn’t always meet it!  I am so proud that she is so responsible with her money (she did NOT learn that from me), and that gives me a feeling of confidence and calm for her future.  Amongst all this, she is also dealing with her own family drama.  She received a very hurtful email from a close relative, one that she loves dearly, and it just crushed her (enter, fierce momma protective mode).  But I didn’t need to do anything.  She replied to this family member in the most eloquent way (now she does get that from me).  Again, I am feeling that maybe I have had a bit to do with how she’s able to handle all this.

All in all, my kid has turned out alright, and I am very proud!!!  Love your kiddos, guide them, be there for them, LISTEN to them….don’t react.

Love to all!!

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